Parenthood comes with a totally new hat. Child/ren become our top priority often resulting in less time for ourselves to meet up with friends. However when we do it is something we truly appreciate. Time with friends without child/ren in tow gives an opportunity to be ourselves, recharge and live in the moment without being distracted. School friends, university friends, work friends, mummy friends and friends that we just made along the way all bring so much value to each others lives. School friends we have shared so many years of friendship, created many memories, fashion rights and wrongs, hair styles, hair colours and life changing moments. University friends we have cried, laughed, stressed and looked after one another. Work friends we have kept each other entertained, shared life dramas and provided support. Mummy friends we have helped each other in sleep deprived states, through emotional times, gave unlimited reassurance while sharing a life changing journey together. Other friends we have just met unexpectedly that we have just bonded with and often shared some common ground.
So what does true friendships look like……?
Where did time go?
When we are together time is lost. Time just flies by because we are living in the moment, just appreciating the time we have together and chatting about anything and everything. Suddenly we look at our watch or phone and think ‘where did that time go?’.
We are happy when they share happy news and sad when they share sad news
When a true friend shares happy news we feel happy. Everyone wishes each other a life full of happiness and opportunities so their positive news is your positive news. In contrast, their sad news makes us feel sad and we want to do anything to bring a smile back to their face even if it is just for a brief second.
Jealously never exists
Jealously what is that? It doesn’t even come into a true friendship vocabulary. We all want the best for one another and we become each others cheer ladies or man groupie! Jealousy is replaced with love, kindness and admiration.
Differences don’t matter
A friendship group can be friends with differences. Different ambitions, different salaries, different life goals, different careers and it doesn’t matter. Friendship is based on the person not the status. We love each other differences, quirks, imperfections because it makes them the person they are.
Any decisions a friend makes from a health kick, change in relationship status, career change we give each other full encouragement and support. Unless of course it is a decision made after too many G&T’s resulting in a dented ego the following day, then a true friend would grab us by the hand and guide us the in the right direction. Whatever the case they wouldn’t use it as a means to gossip or belittle us in any way.
A friend always comes with a good ear. One that is open to listen without distraction even if we go on and on and on. They understand that it is important for us to vent or make sense of a situation. They give us their precious time to help us figure out our difficulties even if they have their own.
Loyalty & Trust
A true friend will have our back and wouldn’t even think about speaking about us to others in a negative manner. They wouldn’t tolerate any other person doing it in their presence. We could tell them anything in confidence and trust them with anything that is important to us. They would always be honest even if it is something we didn’t want to hear because they genuinely care.
We all can have bad days, make stupid decisions, act stupidly or done actions we regret. True friends will be upfront but they won’t hold grudges or change their opinion on us. Dependent on the situation they will either laugh at us, protect us, reach out or just give us a good old wise talk.
Time apart doesn’t matter
Sometimes we haven’t seen a friend for a long time but we just pick up like it was yesterday. We feel comfortable in their presence and it makes us feel good to be reunited. We literally depart each other feeling happy and positive.
Friends are the people who we choose to be in our life because we share the same morals and values. We may live different lives but it doesn’t matter because we value our differences. We love to spend time together while making memories and mistakes. We live, laugh, learn and grow together!
The opposite to a true friendship can be one that is toxic and can affect a person’s wellbeing and self-esteem. It is important we value ourselves and choose to be surrounded by the people that love us for who we are. There is a saying ‘children learn more from what you are than what you teach’. A child/ren being exposed to parents with healthy relationships with their friends can only be a good foundation on developing their own beliefs on friendships. Having true friendship is positive in more ways than one. Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things.
This is based on my own reflection of what true friendship looks like. What is the most important feature in a true friendship for you? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments box.
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